Perfectionism, efficiency, competitiveness, and social media jealousy are often encouraged and rewarded in today’s world. We tend to forget that the average grade is a “C.” However, if you were to give a “C” grade to your student or employee, you would likely be seen as the villain.
Donald Winnicott was a pediatrician and psychoanalyst who introduced the “good enough mother” principle in 1953. Dr Winnicott’s teachings boiled down to the fact that a good enough mother was better than a perfect mother. He meant a mother who adapts to the infant’s needs and gradually grows to learn about the child’s limitations and failures while being there and showing empathy. This allows babies to depend on their caregivers and progressively become more independent. It helps them learn to handle frustration and wait for things at their own pace.
Good enough means something other than that one is mediocre or good.
What is a good enough principle?
Being good enough means recognizing and embracing your strengths and limitations, setting achievable goals, and finding fulfillment in your efforts and achievements without the constant pressure to be perfect.
Think of Good Enough as a way to keep improving. Aim for excellence by gradually meeting, challenging, and raising standards — instead of trying to be perfect on the first try. The best approach for any task is to start with good enough and then raise the bar to achieve excellence. For example, being an excellent doctor shouldn’t mean sacrificing a good enough personal life.
Unlike perfectionism, which is characterized by a fear of failure and excessive self-criticism, being good enough focuses on balance and self-acceptance. It allows individuals to appreciate their progress and achievements without the debilitating pressure to meet unrealistic standards.
The Good Enough concept is used in evolution, business management, and software system design, but we should embrace it in our work, parenting, and personal growth. It can help us in preventing burnout.
How to apply this in real life?
- Set Realistic targets: Aim to do a good job instead of trying to make everything perfect. Perfect is hard to reach, and doing your best is often enough.
- Prioritize Tasks: Focus on getting important things done well and avoid worrying about small details that are of little importance or imperfections.
- Accept Mistakes & Flaws: It’s okay if things aren’t perfect. Mistakes are normal and help you learn.
- Make Quick Choices: When deciding something, pick a good option and move on instead of stressing over finding the perfect choice. Procrastination will delay your task deadline.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t turn out perfectly. Doing your best is great!
- Celebrate Small Wins: Notice and be happy about your incremental progress, even if imperfect.
- Use Your Time Wisely: Spend more time on important tasks and less time trying to make everything perfect. Remember to be mindful and enjoy the process.
- Be Grateful for Your Choices: You are making calculated and informed decisions, no longer being pushed around by circumstances. You deserve a pat on the back!
Criticism of the Good Enough Principle: The “good enough” principle prioritizes progress over perfection, aiming to increase productivity. However, it can lead to lower standards, missed opportunities, and a lack of ambition. Determining what constitutes “good enough” can be subjective and challenging.
It’s crucial to strike a balance between the “good enough” principle and the “pursuit of excellence”. The key is to apply this principle wisely. Consider the specific context and goals of a project or task, and strive to give your best effort shot.
Let me tell you this: your mother was not perfect, and neither are you! She tried her best according to the circumstances.
Tarak Vasavada, MD
Medical director,
Live Well Foundation of Madison County Medical Society