Eric Barker’s blog on positive well-being is a must-follow. In this blog, he shares lovely insights about Icelandic life and the resilience it fosters. Iceland is an unforgiving place. Amazingly, it has been inhabited by the same generations of people with little migration. Their gene has evolved to be reselient and studies have shown that. Drawing from Michael Easter’s book “Comfort Crisis” Barker introduces four helpful steps to embrace.
1. Providing too much comfort early on makes kids and young adults view minor issues as major, increasing mental distress in the next generation. Modern conveniences have reduced physical hardship, but psychological adaptation prevents greater satisfaction. Research shows that as threats decrease, the brain lowers the problem threshold, leading to “first-world problems.” To break this cycle, we need to seek challenges and discomfort to reset our perspective and build resilience.
A. The “Inconvenience” Micro-Dose
Instead of optimizing for maximum ease, choose the slightly harder path once a day.
- The Physical: Take the stairs instead of the elevator, or park at the far end of the lot. Turn your shower to a colder setting as you are finishing. Do a harder physical workout and avoid taking pain relievers.
- The Environmental: If you’re slightly chilly, wait 30 minutes before turning up the heat or putting on a sweater.
B. Digital Fasting
Our brains view boredom as a modern “discomfort.”
- Next time you’re standing in line or waiting for a friend, don’t pull out your phone. Just stand there. It feels itchy at first, but it reminds your brain that “being bored” isn’t an emergency.
C. Delayed Gratification: If you have a craving for a specific snack or want to buy something online, make yourself wait 24 hours. Navigating the “want” without immediately satisfying it builds the mental muscle that says, “I’m okay even if I don’t have exactly what I want right now.”
D. Do something uncomfortable: Do not complain about your discomfort to anyone for 1 hour, then extend it to 24 hours.
2. Boredom will motivate you.
We spend a staggering 10% of our remaining lives on our phones just to avoid the “discomfort” of boredom. However, boredom leads to creativity, and creativity leads to success in life. Boredom is painful, but it can propel you to a super-motivational stage if applied rightfully.
Solution:
Try the “Phone Fast” Challenge
To turn your boredom into a creative superpower, try one of these simple shifts:
- The “Waiting” Rule: Next time you are in a checkout line or a waiting room, keep your phone in your pocket. Let your mind wander and see what ideas pop up.
- The Creative Sprint: When you feel that “itch” of boredom, set a timer for 10 minutes. Don’t scroll; instead, use that restless energy to brainstorm one solution to a problem you’ve been avoiding.
- The Adult Pacifier Check: Before you unlock your phone, ask yourself: “Am I looking for information, or am I just trying to kill a moment of quiet?”
3. Think about death: Thinking about the end makes us appreciate the people around us more. Some time back, I told my wife that based on our life expectancy, we have only 1000 weekends left. That has changed our perspectives. We shifted from taking our experiences for granted to savoring them and making more intentional choices.
Solution:
Gemini said
A. The “Five Deaths” Meditation
This is a simplified version of a traditional Buddhist practice used to snap the brain out of “autopilot.”
- The Practice: Once a day, take 30 seconds to vividly realize that five things you love—a specific person, a pet, your ability to walk, your favorite coffee shop, or even your eyesight—will not last forever.The “itch” of daily annoyances (like a slow line or a rude email) vanishes when contrasted with the potential loss of what actually matters.
B. The “Last Time” Perspective
We rarely know when we are doing something for the last time.
- The Rule: Pick a routine activity today—Going to work, eating a specific meal, or even walking through your front door. Tell yourself, “This might be the last time I ever do this.”You stop “waiting for the future” and start experiencing the richness of the present moment.
C.. The “One-Year” Filter
When faced with a stressful decision or a nagging worry, ask yourself one question.
- The Question: “If I knew I only had one year left to live, would I spend even five minutes worrying about this?”It acts as a surgical tool for cutting out “first-world problems” and focusing your energy on high-value actions.
D. The Memento Mori Reminder
“Memento Mori” is Latin for “Remember you must die.”
- The Hack: Change your phone lock screen to a simple image of an hourglass or a minimalist quote. It’s not meant to be morbid; it’s a “wake-up” call to stop scrolling and start living.
4. Misogi:
The “Misogi” is a Japanese-inspired challenge of doing something difficult simply because it is hard. While we often try to shield ourselves and our children from all stress, research shows that moderate adversity actually builds psychological resilience, higher life satisfaction, and better physical health.
How to Design Your Own Misogi
To start building that “internal armor,” your challenge should follow two simple rules: make it very hard, and stay safe.
- The 50/50 Rule: Pick a task where you genuinely feel you only have a 50% chance of finishing. It should be a “stretch” that requires total focus.
- Make it Quirky: This isn’t about gym PRs or medals. It should be personal—like hiking a specific trail in one day, learning a complex piece of music by a deadline, or completing a 24-hour digital fast while finishing a DIY project.
- The “Inward” Focus: Don’t do it for the social media post. Do it to show your brain what you are actually capable of when things get uncomfortable.